Dirty Little Secrets

The actual contents of this page may disappoint you. My dirty little secret is this: I am an emotional eater. Not what you were expecting, huh?

I will eat for just about any reason.

If I am sad and lonely I find comfort in anything sweet. I love chocolate in any form, cookies, cake, ice cream, candy, or frosting right out of the jar.

If I am happy I feel I deserve a treat like fast food or pizza.

If I am bored I find myself going through entire bags of chips or large bowls of popcorn.

Here is another secret: I have been a binge eater at times. In the past I have eaten an entire box of Little Debbie treats in one sitting. That is 12 sugar filled treats! I am embarrassed to write it but I must be honest if I want to change. I have also eaten an entire carton of sherbet in one sitting. Another time I consumed and entire large pizza, by myself, in one night.

I can’t have bags of sweets around the house. It is like they are calling my name, daring me to eat just one. The dumb part is that even while I am stuffing another treat in my face I am telling myself I shouldn’t. It is like I can’t stop. I can’t stop until the bag is empty and in the trash.

I know that during those times I was eating because of my emotions. I was either angry, sad, fearful or frustrated.

I try to tell myself not to do it but then I give in. Every time I am done stuffing my face I feel guilty and sad so it really doesn’t help with my emotions. I really need to learn from my past so I can stop doing the same things over and over while wishing for different results. Isn’t that the definition of insanity?

One thing I have never done is force myself to throw up after eating. The thought has crossed my mind, especially after a binge, but it scares me. I am so thankful that I have never gone down that path. I guess those after school specials and tv reports on anorexia made a lasting impression. My heart goes out to anybody struggling with that problem.

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2 Responses to Dirty Little Secrets

  1. Jess says:

    Thanks for your comment on my blog! I had to comment here because I have too eaten an entire box of Little Debbie treats…and I’ve even done it when they are FROZEN!! Ugh. You’re so not alone in this!

    • Thanks for admitting your “secret”. I am glad to know I am not alone. It was hard for me to write about it and to admit it to the world. (p.s. I think they taste even better frozen 🙂 )

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