I am new to blogging but I am an expert at sitting down at the first of a new year to plan my weight loss goals. I have done the same thing each year for at least the last 17 years. Of course some years I haven’t bothered to put the goals in writing. I just calculate in my mind how much I want to lose by my birthday or anniversary. I tell myself that this year I WILL once again fit into my wedding dress.Other years I meticulously plan out every detail of what I will do each day to reach my goals. I always have great plans. They aren’t completely unreasonable either. I mean, 10 pounds per month sounds easy enough, especially since I am 6ft tall and could lose 80-90 pounds and still be in the “normal” weight range on the BMI charts. The only thing those 2 different approaches have in common is what the results are, complete failure.
I can stay on track for a short period of time but then the family birthdays start up and there is cake around every corner. My husband will come home from being on the road for a long time and I will want to spoil him with treats and then I eat more than he does. I fail! Every year I have failed at my attempts to diet.
I have tried planning rewards to keep me motivated, but no amount of money or the promise of shopping for a new wardrobe has worked.
This year as I opened my new calendar I once again thought of how nice it would be to lose some weight. We watched some old videos during our family New Years party and I cringed at what I saw. What bothered me is that when I think back to those times I remember myself as thin. But looking at the footage on tape I realized that I might have been much thinner than I am now but even back then I could have benefited from losing 20 or more pounds.
My sister, who is 14 months older than me, came to see me on New Years day. She has 5 kids and looks about the same size as when she was in college. She tells me that she wants to get healthy and lose some weight and she was looking for an accountability partner. I felt a bit offended. I mean, seriously she doesn’t look like she needs to lose anything. I felt like she was just making that up so she could convince me to lose weight without coming right out and calling me fat. Some tears did flow. She got a little mad because she was being serious about wanting to partner up. Well I wasn’t too receptive at first but I agreed to think about it and get back to her.
Since then I have been thinking about what to do. I do need to lose the weight. I am already pre-diabetic, and it runs in my family. I feel unhealthy. I hate to look at my entire body or have pictures taken of me. Something else important to consider is that I am turning 40 in June. I am not excited about that either, for a few reason that I may talk about on another day. If I don’t get on track now and lose the weight I never will.
I made a few decisions this week. I am going to start again. I am going to find an eating plan that I can stick with. I am going to start walking and getting more active. I am also going to start to train to run a 5K. There are a few in our area every year that I think I could participate in.
I need to figure out why all my great attempts in the past have led to failure or I will keep repeating the same pattern. So I will try to figure that out and get back to you. 🙂
Part of something I am going to do to stay on track is to blog about my experience. Maybe if I know people are following along to see if I can do it, I will actually do it. I am to shy to post a picture right now or to even tell you my weight. I am ashamed of it and can’t stand the thought of people being shocked or laughing at me. Later when I can see results and am feeling good about who I am I will be sure to give you facts or post before photos. So stay tuned for that.
Tomorrow is Saturday and since I am off work I plan on getting organized for my first week of being on track. I know that it will help me to have good foods already packaged for snacks so I can grab them on the run. I am also going to start a food journal so I can track what I am eating.
Guess I need to get off the computer and get to bed so I can get everything done tomorrow that I need to.